| sing a mending moan |
[17 Oct 2007|09:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 orange scarf |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Amour Fou- Vetiver |
] |
architecture in helsinki halloween concert? um yes please
jac, ryan and i dressing up as the three primary colors? yes please too
people visiting for fall break? fabulous
living every day october? of course i am
existing inside my american apparel hoodie? constantly
drinking from mason jars? yep
still infatuated with devendra and oatmeal? as always
fabulous mail from drew? magnificent
loving how the workers at roma only speak to me in spanish? kind of
fearful of living in ecuador? maybe a little
today is my friday
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| someday, you will get the best of me |
[07 Sep 2007|10:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 churned butter |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
black rebel motorcycle club |
] |
back from bumbershoot. saw a lot. breathed in a alot.
stood admist druken frat boys at the wu tang concert,
hood popped, hands making that annoying "W"
screaming "wu tang clan ain't nutin' to fuck wit"
i can't explain why
but oh my god.
kings of leon and black rebel motocycle club and devendra banhart.
if devendra were my friend, everything would be okay. everything would be like incense and wood floors and blankets and wine and plaid and lumpy homemade cake.
if the man from gogol bordello were my friend, life would be an eternal and wild gypsy party.
instead im always waiting. confused, always, suspended in air, breathing in clouds. mailing things and drawing buckets of blueberries. letters to drew and hannah.
you, him and him. the lord, devil and him. couldn't have paid me to believe it'd turn out this way, with these people. it's like someone picked the most unlikely people for me to get involved with and inserted them suddenly, meaningfully into my life. i am enjoying it from a distance but hating it up close.
i think we will be together someday. all of them and i. 
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| i have my freedom, but i don't have much time |
[24 Aug 2007|08:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 woven blanket |
] |
| [ |
music |
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wild horses- the rolling stones |
] |
huge changes. um. i don't know what to say. everyone is leaving. i am so scared.
i miss keeley.
i miss hannah already. i can't stand it.
i think am moving out, i guess. maybe to portland, maybe down the street. there are so many options. i have a key to rachi's home, if i need it. everything is up in the air. but i know there is not going to be much else left for me here soon.
and i kind of quit my job today. and i hear the voice saying that i shouldnt have but i also hear the voice that is crying and the one that needs change and the one that loves life too much to waste it by getting up at 5 in the morning.
because all at once, two days ago, everything just broke. the shell that was coating my life, it was made up of all my expectations and illusions-it was all shattered. because i thought it had all ended. actually it was maybe just beginning.
and it was bad, but it was great. and it shattered and everyone helped me and then i went hitchiking with rose and aya.
because everything holding me back is gone.
and it could all go so wrong, it could be so hard. im scared it will all be for nothing.
but everything is for something.
and this is the time, if any, to forsake it all for love.
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| and we all shine on |
[12 Jul 2007|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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california poppy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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instant karma |
] |
life is an odd thing.
began work today. very tired. need to get out. etc.
coworkers. dorks. sit around quoting "knocked up" in the break room.
must work tomorrow. 6-11am. then fair. too much. house is very smelly.
father is making the long journey home. i miss him terribly. have not seen him since may.
i miss many people terribly. very confused. not sure what to think. very stressed out.
i really dislike my grandma. too bad.
lets hang out. i want to see you.
i believe i am losing sanity?
i want to go on trips!!
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| there are enough facts. what we need is more stories. |
[10 Jun 2007|05:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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stirred |
] |
| [ |
music |
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grassy hill folk radio |
] |
strike another match,
go start anew
cuz it's all over now, baby blue
(i don't know what else to say)
(yesterday was the craziest 24 hours ever)
(i graduated too)
(he's a rambler, he's a gambler)
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| you and me, we gotta get away, we gotta leave |
[31 May 2007|07:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
california |
] |
1. i am extremely distraught over senior skip day
2. JOE BEN DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUHGHWHYYYYYYY!?!?!?! I LOVED HIM...not in the way i passionately desire Hank...but still
3. i got babbs for the book draw in lit and i have no idea what to get her and im scared. please help.
4. i think the relationship between me and school is like sex, where i'm the guy and school is the sex addict who i have been banging every day for years. now it's gotten to the point where i just can't get it up anymore. that is why i am taking a year off. thank you.
and someday we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
but for now we are young, let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see
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| no words in the vernacular could describe this great event |
[22 May 2007|06:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
freshly-squeezed |
] |
excellent day.
i got free cake from humble bagel.
and non-free kefir.
also.
1. i just made fresh squeezed orange juice
2. my attic is full of mason jars
3. i love sometimes a great notion
4. i love hank stamper. (omgsquirm)
5. i like lurking about jac's set with chris
6. i like lurking about sundance/being a senior
7. i got an e-mail from my dad (who is currently at the cannes film festival) and he saw jude law.
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| i know, i know, i look stunning in every situation |
[23 Apr 2007|04:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sunshine |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
House of the Rising Sun- The Animals |
] |
 
preeeetty much.
i think i am in love with james, my piercer.
i want us to be best buddies. even after he swabbed down the inside of my nostril with a q-tip.
never knew your nose could feel so clean.
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| aglow like a birthday candel |
[22 Apr 2007|12:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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taoist |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
loreena mcknennit |
] |
today is lilacs in jars and paper and fresh rain and gentleness.
yesterday was my dog's birthday. i made her and myself grilled cheese sandwiches and we ate them on the kitchen floor last night.
i got a free tree at the earth day celebration. i bought the tao of pooh for 50 cents. i love it.
i am feeling so excellent about 18. life is going in such a different direction.
EDIT: so crazy thing...our power went out today for a really long time so thats why those of you sweeties who called didn't get through
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| time to segway into the blue |
[10 Apr 2007|09:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bone folder |
] |
| [ |
music |
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kiss the sky- shawn lee's ping pong orchestra |
] |
i hate lit homework. i hate this prompt. you can tell because i am procrasinating by writing in this thing.
also i am sitting here wondering how terrible for my grade it would be if i didnt do it.
the answer: extremely, inexplicably terrible.
okay.
well i just wish that i knew exactly what next year is going to be.
i like plans.
today, raya and i stressed about how we were supposed to pack enough tampons to cover 3 months without taking up half of our backpacks. because it's too sketch to buy things like that down there in south america. apparently. i dont really know. i hope i write folk songs about it. south america. not the tampon issue. i hate it when folksingers sing about modern stuff. not like tampons are necessarly modern. apparently the ancient egyptians used them. except they were made out of wood? ow?
this reminds me that i have signed up for a bookmaking class and have recently bought a bone folder, among other obscure bookmaking tools. it's made out of real bone. it scares me and i dont know how to use it.
i have a little pottery cup full of forget-me-nots by my bed.
suppose ill get to that homework now.
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| all cupcakes all the time |
[02 Apr 2007|04:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sukki |
] |
i like the color fuchsia in its many forms!
i like blossoms!
i like april!
i like wrapping paper!
i like people who make me laugh!
i like california!
my biology packet is not done!
im going to go bake vegan cupcakes!
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| who could hang a name on you, when you changed with every new day |
[13 Mar 2007|11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sea |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ruby Tuesday- The Rolling Stones |
] |
there are cats outside howling mixed with train howls and its just a lot of howling.
i am making a present for jaclyn bovee. it is very fun. i like projects. especially when i have been working on them for hours straight and my eyes arent focusing quite the same. that's when everything starts coming together quite well.
i also like the marche cafe in 5th street. it is my new favorite place in the world.
i aim to open up a cupcake shop. cupcake/wedding design/florist
and then there are days when i am like:
just give me the mood stabilizers!
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| see how they fly, like lucy in the sky |
[24 Feb 2007|01:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
i am the walrus- the beatles |
] |
im feeling a little listless
it is a rainy saturday afternoon
and i dont particularly want to go anywhere
although there are lots of places to go
i am tuckered out
i just got back from the peer group retreat and i really liked it.
...
well not so much the painful physical activities. or the obnoxious people (ie. kevin hulse) and i cant say that i really enjoyed being crushed by every guy in the room as they rolled over me during human carpet (an extremely violating expereince, to say the least)
but there was a lot of good stuff.
and i was trying so hard not to cry during "i wish...i wonder"
and i realized how people you think you dont like can turn out to be so lovely.
lalala hooray for love and good feelings.
a rare moment of adoring my peers amidst two months of hatred for school and everyone there. aaaah.
in other news: i just watched 15 minutes of a show on cake decorating and i think i need to direct my life down that career path.
if there's anything that you want
if there's anything i can do
just call on me and i'll send it along
with love from me to you
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| with love from me, to you |
[11 Feb 2007|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
simple soft light |
] |
i am baking,
valentines day baking, pink sprinkles and heart shaped shortbread, little cakes
and bowls and the smell of soap, just white soap with rough wood floors
watching the last waltz
(music used to be really handsome and meaningful, at one time)
bob dylan on rockin' rome
and my hair used to be long and brown and golden with the sun
i had flowered quilts and leggings, i liked myself
and the concept of tundra, way up in the north country, where the winds lay heavy on the borderline
im a'gonna throw a party for spring, with boquets and lavender tea
and a breath of fresh air, white light
somehow just saying aloud that its time to go back to counciling made everything so much better
wierd how life is made of jericho walls that operate with passwords
that big fat moon is gonna shine like a spoon but we're gonna let it
you wont regret it
kick your shoes off
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| there is a town in north ontario... |
[29 Jan 2007|07:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gurlge |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
land of a 1000 dances- wilson pickett |
] |
senior project is basically a distaster
i called my mentor and she was like...um did you give me the right evalutation form? because you didnt really do any of the stuff on here...i wish i had had it earlier...
and now i feel really yucky in my stomach
i think it is kinda a bad thing that i didnt really do anything
i just watched her
that should be okay
and i am missing a paper, permanently
and the presentation is on friday and i dont have any idea about what im going to say
or what my visual will be
!!!
meanwhile, my math teacher is a raging bitch.
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| oh mr. rochester... |
[21 Jan 2007|06:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 jane eyre |
] |
holy shit
words cannot even describe
how excited i am for jane eyre
on masterpiece theater tonight
i hope you watch it too
and i hope they do wuthering heights next
but i guess i could just rent that
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| its beginning to look a lot like christmas |
[16 Jan 2007|07:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blanket |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
npr- morning edition |
] |
i got up at 6:20 so i could get to school really early and talk to tibor
and i walked there in the snow
and once i got there, someone told me we had a delay
if we don't have school today
i am so screwed
but happy
i love my cat
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| you are the righteous one |
[10 Jan 2007|02:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
lemon ginger tea |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
abraham- sufjan stevens |
] |
"And unless you're William Faulkner (who didn't even graduate from college), the story you tell to the admissions officer through your essay needs to be brief, flow logically from one event to the next, and have a convincing conclusion."
yay for as i lay dying
yay for me telling mr stewart that it was ok, he didn't have to write me a letter of recommentdation
and his immediate response being:
"NO! I LOVE YOU!"
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| twenty years of schoolin' and they put ya on the day shift |
[09 Jan 2007|10:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired/headachy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the night they drove ol' dixie down- the band |
] |
plan for tonight:
begin biology homework -> finish
read as i lay dying/enjoy the fuck out of it
begin honors essay
finish math homework
learn math
eat popcorn
listen to no direction home soundtrack, disc one -> select senior quotation
make a cheer up finland kit
wrap mischa's overdue present
learn some more math -> cry about math
collapse in emotionally exhausted state
so basically im fucked over with my grades and i guess there is nothing i can do because i sure as hell aint gonna go talk to no stinkin teacher who won't give me no respect and i think my senior quotiation will be pessemistic yay! and i like songs about the civil war.
he was just 18, proud and brave, but a yankee a laid him in his grave and i swear by the blood below my feet, you can't raise a Cain back up when he's in defeat
ready, GO!
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| this is the kind of shit |
[07 Jan 2007|02:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 murky tea |
] |
ugh terrible
everything is sosososo fucked up.
this is rediculous. what am i doing. with everything.
i hate this i hate today it is
terrible.
worst fucking day and im tired of being belittled
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